


Say Something

by Caseys_Crying



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: But these bois just need a minute to work through themselves, Emotionally Constipated Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Geralt has trouble expressing himself, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Feelings, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Loves Jaskier | Dandelion, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, I just love Geralt spontaneously confessing to Jaskier, I'm Sorry, Insecure Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Insecure Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier has trouble accepting things, Jaskier | Dandelion Has Feelings, Jaskier | Dandelion Loves Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, M/M, That's just my thing I guess, This one is going to be a little bit painful, What Can I Say?, but it'll be fine, it is what it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-09
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:09:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,801
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24080362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caseys_Crying/pseuds/Caseys_Crying
Summary: In a timeline 5 years after the break up on the mountain top, when Yennefer and Geralt never mended their relationship, and Ciri isn’t currently traveling with the Witcher and his Bard:Geralt is acting… different. And Jaskier intends to find out why.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 4
Kudos: 32





	1. What's Wrong

Geralt and Jaskier were departing from a tavern after a night spent relaxing. They had just handled a wandering mage who was casting curses and piling the townspeople high with fears, he was a menace if there ever was one. Luckily for Geralt though, they could communicate with this foe, a feat that was rare as the variable monsters they seem to find often don’t partake in any conversation. It didn’t take much time for Geralt to seemingly scare this malicious man into lifting his curses and wandering off to hopefully make a real life for himself. As per usual, Geralt wouldn’t spare any details on the interaction “We talked” was all he’d give, but whatever tale Jaskier could string together would surely satisfy the villagers rightly enough. 

After the mage left, the town happily treated the bard and witcher to a bedroom, with two beds for a change! Oh, the space Jaskier had to stretch out his weary bones and gods, he was sounding old. He had aged, of course, it had been over 25 years since he’d first met Geralt, but he wasn’t about to let himself get boring and slow! So he danced and sang in the tavern while Geralt bathed before retiring to the room and falling into a deep slumber.

After beginning their journey back on the road, Jaskier noticed that Geralt was acting differently. Over the few days they spent walking, he saw the distinct and usually consistent behavior of the witcher shift. It wasn’t obvious, the change, it was in the subtle things only Jaskier seemed to notice that many people wouldn’t have paid any mind to. Jaskier tried to ignore it, he simply told himself the Witcher was feeling a bit moody as he sometimes did.

At the next town, Geralt was sent on a mission to the peak of a mountain to do battle with some gruesome creature. The people described it as “Ugly was damned to bear a child with Disgust and chose to name the babe Rank”, if that was any description at all. They said it had killed a few of the citizens who wandered too close, and with that, the two adventures left Roach at the stables and set off for the mountain. Jaskier was hoping the journey would take up quite a bit of time and he’d get a chance to badger the witcher with questions until he opened up, that didn’t go over well, they made it to the peak in less than a day’s travels and Geralt decided to have Jaskier set up camp while he dealt with the beast. By the time he had a fire going Geralt had returned with some lizard-esque head slung over his shoulder.

“Was it as hideous as the townspeople said?” Jaskier asked, trying to bait Geralt into a conversation.

“Hm.”

As if that was answer enough Geralt set the removed head on a rock, immediately laid out his bedroll, and closed his eyes. Jaskier watched the witcher with slight annoyance.   
‘What was his problem?’ Jaskier thought to himself.

There better be something seriously wrong with him, or Jaskier won’t forgive him for this behavior. Jaskier begrudgingly huffed before laying out his own bedroll and shutting his eyes, there wasn’t much he would get out of Geralt if he was grumpy and tired anyway.

‘May as well wait until morning light’ he promised.

As soon as the sun rose Geralt worked away to pack the camp up. Jaskier was at the end of his rope, there was just something too different. While his witcher was never emotional or particularly conversational, he was never like this. Jaskier could see it in all the little important things.

It was in the way Geralt held himself just a bit more… tense even after the hot bath.  
It was in the way his eyes always seemed glazed over like he was constantly in thought.  
It was in the way Geralt fell asleep at night, just a bit more guarded.   
It was in the way he left the room when Jaskier began to sing at the tavern.  
It was in the way Geralt didn’t tease Jaskier like he usually did on the road.

Like the very foundation of their friendship was shifting under his feet, Jaskier was suddenly at a loss on how to bridge the gap that was forming. It was so sudden and happening so fast, that the only thing he could think to do was to make fun of Geralt. Perhaps annoyance was the key. Either Geralt would open up, which seemed unlikely, or he’d retort and reveal some clue. Either reaction would give Jaskier more clarity than he currently had on what was bothering his friend.

“What’s got you so sour, eh? Your shoulders are hiked a mile high and you haven’t laughed at any of my brilliant commentaries for the past few days.” Jaskier began while trying to get a peek at Geralt’s face as they descended the mountain.

“I’m not being sour and my shoulders always sit like this.” Geralt said in his usual rough tone, expressionless.

“No, they don't. I know you Geralt, quite a bit better than you know yourself I’d dare. And you’re being sour. You’ve clammed shut like a greedy king’s treasure chest and while I’ve seen you in a foul mood more times than I can count, this one is a whole new view.” Jaskier prodded.

Geralt let out just a grunt in response.

“Now see. That’s not a reply, Geralt. I know you think it is since you seem to use it half the time, but it really doesn’t qualify as any kind of response no matter the tone you use.”

“It does just find to shut you up”

Jaskier feigned a gasp,” Geralt, as much as the paying customers love your bitter attitude and soldier tense posture, I like a bit more emotional intelligence in my company.”

“Then find company elsewhere.” Geralt said.

“I’d never dream of it. You know you’re my favorite travel partner to cross the continent with. I just wish I could deduce what has you all tight-lipped and distant.”

“Leave it be, bard” the witcher dismissed.

Trying bright enthusiasm as a new angle, Jaskier chimed in,“ But you see here, dear friend, I really can’t do that. I’ve never really been able to let go of anything, luckily for the world, I picked up a lute! It’s lucky for you too, it’s how I’ve stuck with you all these years!”

Nothing.

‘Gods, just talk to me, Geralt.’ Jaskier thought, silently begging the witcher to open up.

Continuing on, Jaskier said,“ But really Geralt, what kinds of things bother the oh so often stoic White Wolf to this extent? What terrors can spook a Wolf? I know it wasn’t the beast on this glorified hill.”

“I never wanted to be any White Wolf. I never asked for it. You placed that title upon me and now I can’t shake it.”

“That’s beside the point, Geralt” Jaskier dispels,” I’ve seen you take on mythic monsters of legend that many men could not even imagine, so what things could hit you so hard without leaving scars? What has shaken you so? Hmmm?”

“I’m not shaken” he insists.

Jaskier drops the theatrics for a moment and sincerely says,“ But you are. Seriously, what’s wrong Geralt? What trouble is weighing on you? What problem do you have?”

In a low, rumbling voice Geralt says,“ You, damned bard. You’re my problem.”

“Well Geralt, that’s not a very nice thing to say to your best friend! I am your most loyal companion in this vast wide continent and as much as I love dramatic parallels, the last time you said mean things to me on a mountain top we didn’t see each other for many months. So I’d prefer it if we didn't repeat those events just because you’re in a bad mood. You know, you’re quite lucky I decided to forgive you for that whole debacle anyhow, and now...” Jaskier said as he began to ramble on and on.

Geralt stopped walking, with his eyes trained on the mountain trail, while Jaskier continued with energetic ignorance.

“GODS! I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU!” Geralt yelled out.

The bard froze in his steps before slowly turning around to The Witcher. Geralt stood tense, his fist curled at his side, his shoulders tight and hiked even higher on his neck, he squinted his eyes, keeping them locked on the ground, and awaited a reaction.

But nothing came.

The bard fell uncharacteristically silent.

Beats passed with not a single word exchanged.

Geralt forced his eyes on the well-worn road, refusing to look back up at Jaskier. Because if Jaskier was disgusted by him, if Jaskier was looking at him with eyes like the rest of the world did, Geralt’s stomach would turn and he’d never forgive himself for ruining their friendship. They’d worked together so well for so long. Even when Geralt fucked up, Jaskier always came back. But what if Geralt finally pushed him too far… What if this was the breaking point?

Jaskier, who just a moment ago was nearly skipping, remained stiff in shock. Staring at Geralt with wide eyes, processing the news. That was not what he'd been expecting at all.

“Please say something...” Geralt pushes out in a voice so quiet and meek he barely recognizes it as his own. Geralt felt a heavy pressure like a horse on his chest, felt like he was slowly caving in and suddenly he wished he’d just kept his mouth shut and continued down the mountain like nothing was wrong. So they would still travel together like they always have, without a hitch.

‘Damn that wizard’ Geralt thought. 

* * *

In the days preceding the fight with the mage, Geralt found himself thinking things. New things. They were new thoughts about Jaskier. Nothing too strange, just things that simply never came up before. They were nothing revolutionary, nothing to lose sleep over, he assured himself.

The first one was that he wished Jaskier had more of that cream that got the tangles out of his hair while he was bathing. It was a flippant passing idea that only came up because of how annoying his hair was, nothing more.  
Then one evening, Jaskier ordered food for Geralt and he just thought how nice it was, to have someone know what you liked. Geralt never considered it all the other times Jaskier had done it, but it was truly wonderful to have someone so close.  
Then he caught himself trying to remember one of the lines Jaskier sang a few years back. While he always insisted that Jaskier’s singing was nothing significant, he can’t deny the songs were catchy.  
Then he noticed the little intricacies in Jaskier’s variably colorful outfits. While his many articles of clothing used to meld together in Geralt’s mind, he found himself remembering the way the light blue overcoat’s cuffs flared, and the way the yellow doublet’s collar puffed, and how his creme colored undershirt had all that fine lacing all over it.  
Then he began trying to place what Jaskier smelled like. He never really paid much attention to aroma’s if they didn’t have to do with hunting or Yennefer, and that bridge went down in flames. But for some reason… Jaskier’s scent evaded definition.

Geralt simply thought that all these new occurrences were just how he’s adapted. Since taking in Ciri he assumed he’d grown more attentive to the little things he didn’t think about before. And while Ciri was away on her own, his now more active mind was taking in whatever information was around him. In this case, it was Jaskier. Nothing to dwell on. But then the thoughts continued.   
He began to wonder late at night about old conversations he’d had with Jaskier. Comparing them to his talks with Yennefer.  
He’d stare into Jaskier’s eyes just a bit deeper than he used to. Looking carefully at all the stripes and shapes and shades that lay hidden in his irises, and he wondered if Jaskier ever did the same to him.

He started to watch Jaskier a bit more closely, this time it was less about his detailed clothes and more about the form that was underneath. Watching the way he moved with a delicate grace and while masculine, he could dip into femininity effortlessly, with beauty.  
He considered every word Jaskier said just a bit more. Perhaps there were things said that just went over his head, but he suddenly didn’t want to miss anything.  
His eyes would drift to Jaskier’s lips sometimes, and as quickly as he’d chase the thoughts away, he couldn’t deny that… for a moment… he wondered what they tasted like.

He chalked all that up to unusual curiosity. It wasn’t a crime and he was surely a bit more bored with Ciri gone. His mind was allowed to go searching when there was nothing better to do. That’s all it was, meaningless curiosity and boredom, nothing more to consider or hold onto. Nothing to panic about. It was nothing, nothing, nothing.

But when he was talking with the mage, something slipped out of place.

The mage was lashing out because his lover left him. Geralt tried to simply tell him to move on like the rest of the world does when that happens, that there’s no use hanging onto someone who’s gone. Then the mage insisted that Geralt had no room to speak on the matter since he didn’t feel the mage’s pain.

“You don’t understand! You can’t understand the misery of the broken-hearted. The betrayed and abandoned!” the mage shouted at Geralt.

“Ah yes. Because witchers can’t feel anything. Yes, I get it, I’ve heard it enough times.”

“No Witcher, because you still have love in your heart. Those of us who’ve been truly hurt don’t have that luxury anymore.”

“You’re plenty wrong, mage. You know nothing abou-”

Cutting him off with his raised finger and eyes that seemed to bore deep into Geralt’s own soul,“ I see the pain that woman caused you! Yes, you’ve been left behind, but you found a new love. That’s why you’ll never understand because you still have fondness! You still have hope!”

Geralt was tired, as physically relaxed this job was, he doesn’t enjoy arguing with crazed people,“ If you want to understand the joys of fatherhood and raising a child, there are plenty of orphans around the Continent, I’m sure you could pick up one of them rather than terrorize a township.”

“It’s not the love of fatherhood that mended your heart. You still have romantic adorn. I can see it all in your eyes. You know, deep in your heart, the one you long for is no longer that woman. It’s the one who commands your lingering thoughts that you can’t explain…” The mage lowered his hand and seemed to smirk at Geralt’s confusion,” Your heart lies in those hands now, not the girl’s.”

But what the mage was insinuating was ridiculous. So Geralt hit him a few times and managed to knock some sort of sense into the wizard, and he moved on. But now that the words were out there, everything was different.

Every time Geralt looked at Jaskier he questioned why he was looking, where was he looking, and how was he looking.  
Every time Jaskier spoke, Geralt wondered how intently he was listening.  
Every time Geralt thought Jaskier’s name, he tried to figure out what intent he was thinking with.

He’d never had to question himself like this. Like his own mind was betraying him with its reckless wondering. Like everything he could possibly do was forbidden. And somehow Jaskier saw it in him. He just knew something was wrong, Geralt could see it in the way Jaskier was studying him, which only made him all the more aware of how he was behaving. He was trapped in a body that didn’t know what to do while his mind ran races around himself. And when he finally came to the conclusion…

‘I love Jaskier…’

That only made it all the more awkward. Everything Geralt did felt like treading water, and he wasn’t sure what to do. He decided that he would do nothing. There was no use in stirring up things that best stay buried deep. There was no use ruining the best friendship he’s ever known because he’d gotten a little mixed up in his emotions since Yennefer. There was no use in destroying the one thing he had left.

* * *

“Please Jaskier, say something…” Geralt begged again, voice cracking in a way it never had before.

As time continued to pass by in agonizing silence, Geralt felt the world around him crashing down at his feet. Something was wrong. Something was so very wrong. He shouldn’t have said it. He shouldn’t have said it! Jaskier loves to talk, and he isn’t talking. Jaskier loves to move and he isn’t moving. There was only one thing Geralt could think of to explain what was happening.

‘He hates me. I ruined it. I fucked it all up again. And there's nothing I can do to take it back.’

Jaskier let out, in the smallest voice he’s ever used,“ I’m sorry” before running down the mountainside... away from Geralt. 


	2. What Do I Do?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that Jaskier knows what's been bothering Geralt, what's he to do?  
> And now that Geralt's been left by Jaskier, what's he to do?

Jaskier ran. He ran down the mountain and he didn’t stop until his lungs were burning more than they ever had before. He wasn’t really sure why he was running, he just didn’t know what else to do.

What are you supposed to do? When your best friend of nearly 27 years confesses to you… What do you do?

At least while he was moving he was occasionally shaken from his thoughts. 

‘Why did Geralt say that… He can’t have been joking. Geralt doesn’t joke like that. But Geralt also doesn’t act like that. He hasn’t been acting right for days. And he doesn’t fake things like this. But why would he be thinking this stuff now, why is-’  
‘Watch out for that hole, don’t want to twist an ankle right now’

‘Fuck, is he just reeling from Yennefer? It’s been ages since either of them saw her. Unless Geralt was seeing her in secret, and if he was until now, why would he do that? Why is this all happening-’  
‘Woah- Almost got my head taken off from that low hanging tree branch. Focus on the road, Idiot.’

‘Maybe that mage did something to Geralt and it’s all fake. But what if it’s real. What if there’s something here and-’  
‘Don’t forget that there’s that fork in the road from the town and the farming areas, we came from the left road, so go down the right one.’

After running down the mountain for maybe an hour Jaskier’s legs had tired and the sky was darkening. Grey clouds were closing in and it looked like it would rain soon. So when he saw a small cave opening to the right of the main trail, he ducked into it to wait out the weather. He sat down along the wall of the den and sighed to himself. Looking up he was really, really alone with his frazzled mind. 

Of course, he’d liked Geralt before. For years, he had liked Geralt. Who wouldn’t? He’s this beautiful, strong, powerful man with his own brand of sharp charisma. He has selflessness and courage no knight can compare to. Yet, he protects the people he loves in a completely different way than he protects villagers he’s contracted to save. He’s harsh and he’s been broken down by so many things in his life, but he’s also soft. He has this way he relaxes into trusted company, silently letting you know that he feels safe for once. He’s witnessed the darkest depravity that humanity and the Continent’s monsters have to offer, he’s lost faith in destiny, and he’s lost love, and yet he still finds it in him to get up every single day and do something good. There’s no way to count the number of lives he’s saved in his decades of service to the Continent, and there’s probably only ever been a handful of genuine thanks he’s received for it. 

Geralt was all Jaskier wanted for a long time. It’s why Jaskier separated from him for many months before the djinn. Jaskier was so attached and he could feel the admiration and friendship changing in his heart to romantic interest. But he couldn’t do that to Geralt. He couldn’t put him in that position. Geralt had always made it very clear that all the intimacy he was equipped to handle were nights in brothels. Jaskier understood that. You don’t have a childhood like a witcher and live without companionship for decades and be ready for emotional relationships right away. So Jaskier distanced himself. Found a lady he could romance for a while and keep himself housed and fed while he pushed back his feelings. 

And then he found Geralt, and he was ready to be his friend again, just his friend he promised himself. But he got himself injured and Geralt saved his life, maybe he’d find it in himself to say something now that he’d seen that Geralt still cared for him so much, even after the distance. Then Geralt was fucking Yennefer before Jaskier even had a chance to get him alone, and it wasn’t just a one-time thing. Geralt was invested in her and they kept crossing paths. 

Then, the dragon hunt. Geralt and Yennefer had always been hurting each other, since the moment they got together, but Jaskier could never insert himself into that relationship. He could never trust that he didn’t just want to do that for selfish reasons because he loved Geralt too. Once, it finally looked like Geralt and Yen were finished with the pain they always inflicted. Jaskier just wanted to help Geralt find some peace of mind. And maybe, a long time after that, he could at least tell the witcher how deep his love was. Just to be honest and give Geralt room to consider. But look at how that went, Geralt cast him out before they even left the peak. So maybe Jaskier was more dispensable than he thought he was, and Geralt didn’t need him anymore. 

During the 5 months away from Geralt that followed, Jaskier finally moved on. Properly this time. He grew and he understood that some things just aren’t meant to be and that’s fine. He would still find love, just not from his witcher. When they were reunited, Jaskier could finally look at Geralt and just see a friend who needed help. He could see a guy, becoming a father though he was clueless on where to begin and Ciri, a child who needed as big a support system as she could get her hands on. Nothing more than a silly family of misfits, the odds and ends that seemed to get the jobs done. They could travel peacefully together, no wondering, and no tinges of pain every time Jaskier felt rejected. It was finally simple and easy going and it didn’t hurt anymore.

But Geralt- Geralt decided to do this. Now. Just when Jaskier had become okay again.

* * *

Geralt was frozen. He looked up as his best friend ran away from him. And there was nothing to do. He ruined it. Like every other breakable thing he’s held in his hands, he crushed it. Their friendship was over, and for what? A confession because he couldn’t handle his own feelings? Geralt hated himself. He pushed his palm to his forehead and buried his fingers into his hair and just asked himself why.

‘Why? Why did I have to do that? I could’ve just lied and said anything to protect what we had. I could’ve said I missed Ciri, or that I ate some funny food, or that destiny was weighing on my mind more than usual. Anything would’ve been smarter than this.’

Geralt was frozen on the mountain, his thoughts running rampant while he watched his bard disappear from view. The only thing that brought him out of his own mind, was the feeling of rain as it began to come down. He looked up and suddenly saw the dark overcast clouds that had moved in since the once bright morning. He had no clue how much time had passed while he just stood there, angry at himself, but he knew it was time to walk down the mountain and retrieve Roach from the stables. If Jaskier didn’t want him, he’d accept that, and if Jaskier didn’t want to ever see him again, he’d make himself fine with that one day. But he needed his horse, and he just needed to apologize before going. 

As he descended the ridge, he was growing acutely aware of how steep it was and how muddy and slippery the trail had become under the heavy rainfall. He tied his hair up out of his eyes but didn’t bother trying to block the water from soaking him. At the very least the cold rain matched the kind of mood he was in. But he was growing a bit worried about Jaskier’s trip down the mountain. It was a relatively quick journey, even faster going down than up, and Jaskier had run some of it- Run... He ran because he just had to get away from Geralt as fast as he could… So he probably made it to the town before it started coming down too hard right? And Geralt was behind him, so even if he hurt himself, Geralt would find him before too long. All these logical defenses came to mind, but Geralt was still concerned. He’d dispel his nerves when he got to the town and found Jaskier singing in the tavern about this unloveable witcher… or something. Then it began to thunder and Geralt started walking just a little bit faster.

* * *

Jaskier felt the cold wind whip into the cavern opening and moved himself a few feet deeper, while it was darker, it was slightly warmer, and much dryer as the rain began to collect and make the entrance ground muddy. He closed his eyes and tried to ask himself more about what Geralt said. 

‘Would it even work?’

Their friendship worked. They knew that. Every time Geralt got mad at Jaskier, he was forgiven. Every time Jaskier was in trouble, Geralt saved him. As odd as the friendship was, it just fit so well. They seemed to compensate for each other. Where Geralt struggled to express himself emotionally, Jaskier excelled at understanding. Where Jaskier would find himself in a difficult situation, Geralt helped get him out of it. Their friendship worked. They knew that.

A relationship though… that was uncharted territory. That was a bet, and they’d have to risk the friendship they’ve built to take the leap. But maybe it’d be worth it. After decades of unrequited love towards Geralt, Jaskier could hardly imagine how mutual love between them would feel. Maybe it’d be the best decision they ever made. They’d wake up side by side and take on the world together as they always have, but with a new depth. They would be able to retire to bed at night and just cuddle into each other's embrace and drift to sleep feeling safe and warm. Because maybe they were just meant for each other as so much more than just friends.

But maybe they weren’t. Maybe it would crash to the ground in a fiery blaze of pain and heartbreak. And if Jaskier didn’t have Geralt to look to during the heartbreak… if he lost his best friend, could he handle it? Everything they did together was chaotic, Jaskier would get himself into trouble and Geralt would get them out of it, and they usually earned their fair share of cuts and bruises along the way. Loving each other, romantically, could be the worst choice they’d ever make if it didn’t work out. And neither one of them had a great track record with devoted, long term, emotionally vulnerable relationships. Who’s to say they’d even survive the attempt?

Does it even deserve a chance? But also doesn’t it? They’d taken a chance on taking in Ciri. It was the best risk they’d ever chanced. She was amazing and even though Jaskier wasn’t sure how he’d prove as a caretaker to a child, he loved her more than he thought he could. But Ciri was foretold. Ciri and Geralt finding each other was destiny written across decades and Jaskier was the lucky plus one they’d added in afterward. There was no destiny to tie him to Geralt. If he walked away, destiny would still be fulfilled, the world would move on. As much as Jaskier liked to insist he was important and believe there was a destiny out there for him, it never seemed like that was the case. He was just along for the ride, not a member of the main cast.

On one hand, it doesn’t seem like they’ll be able to maintain the relationship they’ve had up until now. A confession is not something people often brush under the rug and forget about for the sake of friendship. But what if they could? What if they could spare themselves the pain that would follow it ending badly. Maybe it was only responsible and smart to save themselves from the mess. 

After Jaskier weighed all the pros and cons that popped into his mind, neither side really winning, he remembered that he hadn’t asked himself the most important question.

‘Do I love Geralt?’  
  
He knew that he used to and then forced himself to let it go, but where did his heart lie now? Now that a confession was given, how did he feel? When he stopped worrying about the “what if’s” and the “oh no’s”, he felt a warmth blooming in his chest. When he took a second to slow down and just feel, it hit him. 

‘He loves me. Geralt said he loves me.’

He loved Geralt, and though he pushed down those feelings for so many years, they were still there despite all his fears. As the smile stretched across his face, scrunching his cheeks while his eyes threatened to tear up, he felt happy. Happier than he’d felt in a long time. And that was answer enough. It might end badly, it could ruin everything Jaskier cared about, but it could also be the best thing he ever did. And a love like that deserves a chance. Jaskier opened his eyes and swore that he’d fight to his last breath to make it work. 

“I love Geralt,” he said aloud, listening to how the words reverberated off of the cavern walls. It felt good, it felt right. 

He loved Geralt and Geralt loved him, and that was reason enough to try, to try with all their might.

* * *

Geralt made it to the bottom of the mountain and felt better having not seen Jaskier on the ground injured, but there was always the chance he went down the wrong fork in the road or fell somewhere and ended up far away. With the heavy rainfall, too many smells were swirling around together. He could tell that the bard had been on the trail, but he already knew that. The smells of tree bark, mud, cattle in the fields upwind, and the odor from the monster’s head were enough to cover up anything distinct he’d be otherwise trying to make out. So he’d just need to find Jaskier in the town to be sure. Then he’d apologize and leave the bard with some of the coin from this kill to make sure he’d be fine until he made it somewhere more lucrative for his talents. 

That’s when Geralt realized that he’d probably never hear his bard sing again.  
He’d probably never get to watch him get drunk and embarrass himself again.  
He’d likely never watch him be a father to Ciri again.

Was he robbing Jaskier of Ciri? Was he robbing Ciri of Jaskier? Did he not only ruin his own relationship with the bard but did he also put them in an awkward position without even thinking about it? Gods he was so selfish. He never even considered that this would do to Ciri… He only thought of his own desires. 

“Fuck…” he said to himself. The first word to escape his mouth since Jaskier ran away.

He continued onward, into the tavern they’d been contracted in when he first came upon the town. It was the only place to get any ale in the city, so it wasn’t hard to imagine that’s where he’d find the man who’d pay for his service, and Jaskier. But Jaskier wasn’t in the room. No worries, there’s about a hundred places he could’ve run off to in the vicinity. So Geralt walked up to the bearded blonde fellow who sent him up the mountain and slammed the decapitated head on the table in front of him. His usual prickly business attitude was efficient, and his coin purse was much heavier in the seconds that followed. A fearful “thank you” and he wandered to the bar to order a drink for his efforts. He’d wait a few minutes for Jaskier to arrive before asking anyone directions, the odds of him walking in through the door after following a girl around the city were higher than anything else. So he sipped his ale, and watched the room, keeping his attention on the front doors and windows, but the bard didn’t walk by. 

A little worried, but composed he asked the bartender,” Where’s the little bard I came in with yesterday?”

The bartender replied,” The brown-haired man who’s just a bit shorter than you sir? Well, I haven't seen him but by your side. Certainly hasn’t come into my bar since yesterday. And he surely would’ve caused a fuss if anyone saw him and not you, the whole town’s been waiting to see you return with news that you’ve handled that pest in our backyard. I assumed you’d left him outside.” 

This was a cause for concern. 

Geralt stood up and left without finishing his second tankard of ale. He went into the stables, but Jaskier wasn’t there either. He took Roach from them and got on her back to check around the city, nothing. He went down the second fork in the road that wound behind farmlands, still no signs of the bard. The rain was letting up, but all the scents still mingled around in the air too much to pinpoint anything. 

He rode back toward the mountain trail, just begging anyone out there that Jaskier was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading the second chapter! The third and final chapter of this story will be dropping tomorrow and I can't wait for you guys to see what I've made!  
> I'd appreciate any comments and feedback more than you could possibly imagine. It gives me so much reassurance and motivation to keep writing!  
> Thanks again, and if you like this, you might like some of my other works!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading the first chapter of my new story! The other 2 chapters will be released in the following days, so you won't be kept waiting long.  
> I'd appreciate any comments and feedback more than you could possibly imagine. It gives me so much reassurance and motivation to keep writing!  
> Thanks again, and if you like this, you might like some of my other works!


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